Logdaft

Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The very next day, the donkey died, so Paddy went back to the farmer, who was very sorry. "It's okay" said Paddy, "I'll just have my money back." The farmer apologises, but he's already spent the money! "No problem" says Paddy, "I'll raffle him off." "You can't raffle off a dead donkey", exclaims the farmer! "Just watch me... I just won't tell them he's dead!" A month later, the farmer meets up with Paddy and asks how he got on with the raffle. "I sold 500 tickets at £2 a piece, and made a profit of £898." "Didnt anybody complain?" "Only the guy who won. And I gave him his money back!"

The most efficient engine in the world. It can be started with one finger, it's self lubricating, and takes any size piston. It automatically changes its own oil every 4 weeks. Its just a pity the engine management system is so temperamental!

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?” She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.” “If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?” “We use it when we make love,” she said. The researcher was a little taken aback. “Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it?” The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”

Ok ok, It was really bad ... sorry!?

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night ...... Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe . . .. As it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog.Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunch-backed man opens the door.Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs, "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. Iam not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace.He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat!He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! .. . . The Hills are alive with the sound of music!" What did you expect? . . . ?

The irony!!

Burger diet bad for you? Fake food news!!