Clown Jokes

[Lee Winger]

Clown goes ice fishing

 

A clown wanted to go ice fishing. He’d seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, he made for the ice. After positioning his comfy footstool, he started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, ”There are no fish under the ice.”

 

Startled, the clown moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of coffee, And began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, ”There are no fish under the ice.”

 

The clown, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. he set up his stool once more and tried again to cut his hole. The voice came once more, ”There are no fish under the ice.”

 

He stopped, looked skyward, and said, “Is that you, Lord?”

 

The voice replied, ”No, this is the manager of the hockey rink.”

[Lee Winger]

A clown was standing in a kitchen, holding a carton of orange juice, staring at it intently. His friend saw this, and asked why are you staring at the carton? The clown answered, "The carton says, ‘Concentrate’

[Mesterh]

Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his

mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and

Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits

there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the

trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnnys favourites, the

clowns.

 

Johnny is loving the clowns and their humorous japes until one of the

clowns comes up to him and says 'Little boy are you the front end of

an ass?'

 

'No,' replies little Johnny.

'Are you the rear end of an ass?'

'No,' replies little Johnny again.

'In that case,' says the clown, 'you must be no end of an ass.'

 

Little Johnny is distraught and he runs out of the circus and all the

way home in tears. When his mum catches up with him she says, 'Little

Johnny don't worry, your Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit,

backchat and repartee, is coming to stay tomorrow. We will take him to

the circus and he will sort that nasty clown out.' At this news little

Johnny cheers up and looks forward to the next night.

 

The next night comes and, sure enough, Uncle Marvo, the master of

lightning wit, backchat and repartee arrives and the three of them set

off for the circus. When they get there Little Johnny, his mum and

Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee, sit

down and enjoy the lions, the tigers, the jugglers and the trapeze

artists, and then out come the clowns.

 

Again Little Johnny is enjoying their antics and yet again one of the

clowns comes up to him and says, 'Little boy are you the front end of

an ass?'

 

Quick as a flash, Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat

and repartee jumps up and shouts at the very top of his voice:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'F*** OFF YOU RED NOSED C***!'

[Lee Winger]

Two clowns lock their keys in the car. One of the clowns tries to break into the car while the other one watches.

 

 

Finally the first clown says “Looks like I can’t get in the car!”

 

 

The other clown replies, "Keep trying. It looks like it's going to rain and the top is down."

[Husky D]

Two cannibals are eating a clown and the one turns to the other and say's,

"Does yours taste funny?"

 

Perhaps it would have been better in the crap joke thread!

[Lee Winger]

Two cannibals are eating a clown and the one turns to the other and say's,

"Does yours taste funny?"

 

Perhaps it would have been better in the crap joke thread!

 

Husky how very dare you post a joke, in the clown jokes thread, you aren't even a clown!!!

[Husky D]

Husky how very dare you post a joke, in the clown jokes thread, you aren't even a clown!!!

 

Lee, how very dare you say im not a clown - have you seen me use a saw?!