Fostering kids.

[Lee Winger]

We've been fostering for a few years, so far two long term placements and a couple of shorter 'respite' ones to give other fosterers a break.

 

First was a nightmare, a very damaged 15yo girl with a mission to find every rule, weakness or boundary and drive a dozer through each one. Second has been a (comparative) breeze. Next is anyone's guess.

 

A couple of observations:

 

The selection/training process is seemingly endless and grinding, but not as personally intrusive as I'd expected. Form filling, reviews, etc. etc. are a permanent feature - you're a Local Authority employee and it can feel like it. If you change employers - even to a neighbouring LA or an agency operating locally - the whole thing starts again. Perhaps most importantly, where your views and the statutory authority's differ, the casting vote is theirs every time.

 

Your home ceases to be your personal refuge, it's now also a workspace. How well this balances out depends on lots of things, principally the child ('young person' / 'Looked After Child' - LAC) in question. In some cases - eg abused children - really elaborate routines have to be put in place to keep everyone safe, yourself included (especially).

 

Every abnormal behaviour from precocious sexuality to violence to Bobby Sands style dirty protest is a possibility, and you can't assume that you'll know what you're getting - incomplete case records, or an emergency care order with no known background, etc.

 

There are lots of different ways of doing fostering - Long/short term, specific age groups, special programmes of various kinds - and lots of employers, agencies and LAs . Terms vary a lot, from expenses and a small fee to the equivalent of a mid-range nurse's salary. Potentially steady income, and sadly not the kind of work that's going to go away anytime soon.

 

Really enjoyable at times, hellish at others in short.

 

There'll certainly be introductory sessions being held by your LA and possibly agencies operating locally. I'd go to a couple and see what you think.

 

 

Mate you deserve a medal, I take my hat off to you..

[Acer Forestry]

The wife and I have been talking about fostering for a couple of years now. Does anyone have any experience and can offer some advice? If not any opinions would be welcome.

 

A female friend of mine has been a foster parent (emphasis on the solo bit there) for some years and finds it rewarding, though at times challenging to say the least.The stories I've heard of lies, tantrums, violence and general hostility (towards just about everyone) have at times had me close to hysterics but I've got a warped sense of humour. Give it a shot,

if you've got boundless patience and are able to keep a smile on your face when others are likely to be screaming.

[Frank]

Go for it, give it a try. The fact that you are even thinking about it, says soooo much about you and your wife as people. I'm positive that you will gain alot from the experience be it short or long term. My parents decided to foster when times where hard. I was about 13-14, hated the first girl that came to stay with us and I nearly stuffed it up for my folks, but we got a second chance and the "bad" lad who came into our home is still a friend of mine 13 years on and has a really well paid job, family, company Bmw etc etc. To think of what he got up to from like 8 - 12 years old beggars belief. But without the family unit that me, my sister and my parents offered him, i believe he would now be dead or in prison.