How would you word it

[topchippyles]

57 minutes ago, eggsarascal said:

Yes, another narrow boat. I haven't bought one yet and won't until I can find a mooring, and the fact that boats tend to be cheaper in the winter when those who think it's an idyllic lifestyle have realised it can be a right bastard in the winter months. I don't want a full length boat, something around 57' that can go pretty much anywhere on the system would suit me fine.

I spend a year fitting 4 new custom builds out for a customer who had a b+b by the river shannon in ireland when i was living up in cheshire 20 years ago in a small established boat yard,One of the most enjoyable work i have ever been involved in as a carpenter/joiner is 30+ years and i saw first hand why people fall for the life style that comes with it.

[eggsarascal]

3 hours ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

Dear valued customer, 

 

the scale of inconvenience imposed upon my leisure time by pissing around fixing your shit has finally become intolerable. 

 

For the sake of maximising my available recreational and leisure time I would propose the following changes to our previous business relationship:

 

- whereas previously, I might have enjoyed a coffee, a chat and generally passing the time of day with you whilst padding out a 2hr job to make it look like a full days graft (a skill acquired over many years public utility employment) I will no longer engage in any conversation not directly related to task or payment. I don’t want to hear about your haemorrhoids, the new roof on your shed or your kids exam results. 

 

- I will require a full spec of your system prior to visiting so that I can ensure appropriate spares are available on arrival rather than “popping down the trade counter” which we all know actually means a 2hr liquid lunch. 

 

- I will transport myself around the site at no less than Olympic sprinter speed at all times. 

 

- I will use gaffer tape and resin to lash-up any leaks or vulnerabilities to speed my departure. 

 

- I will bang out 10 jobs a day and clear my diary for months in advance. 

 

I trust the aforementioned efficiency measures will meet with your approval as we move forward with our new customer focussed business development plan.

 

 I attach an updated schedule of fees which details the 20% uplift necessary to achieve a smooth transition. 

 

Best regards,

 

Pump it & Dump

 

 

Dear Mr Johnson. 

 

I would like to keep some of my customers so that I can keep a roof over my head and feed my belly.

 

I feel your approach could adversely effect what is a poorly run, play it how it comes, wing it style company.

 

Thank you so much for your valued advice.

 

ps. Don't bother in the future.