Billhook

What happened to the forty chainsaw file candles???

I cut 120 three inch lengths of two inch diameter yew (could be any wood)from branches. Drilled out the middle of each with a one and a quarter inch flat wood bit mounted in a bench drill, but not right through, leave a base.

Then cut a slot across the top for the name card. There was enough room for four acorns in the hole.(held in place by the card)

Put the mini yew logs on the tables as place markers with instructions to vernalise as well as to send us a Christmas card each year with a photo of their progress!

Took a bit of work but left a good impression!

Spent the morning up the trees at the Buddhists' pruning their phone line free. Reckoned I was moving towards a decent reincarnation with my careful work when I realised the line was hard against the trunk of the next tree. Nothing for it but to fell.

 

I waited whilst various folk said their goodbyes, hugs and cuddles etc then I dropped it.

 

By their faces I'll be back as a fly next time around.

 

Be kind to flies after I'm going please.

 

 

Dave

Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly ...

Electric Firelighter from Grenadier

Obviously not much good out in the woods, but although expensive they make an almost instant fire, go on for ever and are excellent at reviving an almost dead fire.

We bought our first one back in the 1970s made by Pifco

That's more like it.

Got one myself. After refusing to let me see my kids for 15 years, she then tried to sue me for half of everything. Got herself a very expensive brief, who then fleeced her for thousands, because I represented myself, her brief thought she could trample all over me and sent me loads of "without predjudice" letters, which were, frankly, horrendous.

Eventually I sent her one "with predudice" letter back, stating that I felt her actions were threatening to the point of being illegal and quoted all the letters she had sent me in full.

The Judge couldn't use them, but he had read them.

Awarded enough to cover her costs to that point and told her if she pursued the case he would throw it out.

My current selection for "waste of space".

Divorce

 

 

 

Subject to change.

Could have been worse. You both could have been married to Katie Hopkins!

All I could find on the web

Wood - seasoned & dry kg/cu.m

Afromosia 705

Apple 660 - 830

Ash, black 540

Ash, white 670

Aspen 420

Balsa 170

Bamboo 300 - 400

Birch (British) 670

Cedar, red 380

Cypress 510

Douglas Fir 530

Ebony 960 - 1120

Elm ( English ) 600

Elm ( Wych ) 690

Elm ( Rock ) 815

Iroko 655

Larch 590

Lignum Vitae 1280 - 1370

Mahogany ( Honduras ) 545

Mahogany ( African ) 495 - 850

Maple 755

Oak 590 - 930

Pine ( Oregon ) 530

Pine ( Parana ) 560

Pine ( Canadian ) 350 - 560

Pine ( Red ) 370 - 660

Redwood ( American ) 450

Redwood ( European ) 510

Spruce ( Canadian ) 450

Spruce ( Sitka ) 450

Sycamore 590

Teak 630 - 720

Willow 420

I was just driving past one of the farm field gatewaysthe other day, directly opposite a pair of semi detached cottages which belong to the farm. There was a small white van parked at the entrance and a middle aged couple were in the field but I could not see what they were doing as I had a big Mercedes right on my tail.

Glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the man carrying something on his shoulder.

I had to go down the road for some distance to turn round as the Merc was still right up my backside. By the time I had returned to the field entrance the van had gone, but there was a pile of sawdust.

About four years ago I had heard that a load of Gypsies were on their way to the area and we put some fairly rotten pine logs across the gateways. About 18 inches in diameter and about twelve feet long and certainly not worth putting through my processor. It was one of these that they had cut up and taken.

As I say they were half rotten four years ago so imagine what they are like having sat in the weather for that amount of time. The effort of chainsawing them, the risk of an earful from me (very frightening!) driving out from wherever diesel/petrol used, energy used in sawing/carrying and then ending up with a load of sodden rotten wood.

It is almost a case of Karma causing them to be automatically punished for their deed, as I am sure it would take more energy to light it than the energy you might recover from it!

It is no wonder that some people can make money selling unseasoned, wet, poor quality firewood if these are the sort of people who will take it.

They walk amongst us!

2 x 9......... because I have a split personality!

We have a Clearview 650 with double doors and an Aarrow Stratford 90 with boiler.

They both take large logs and stay in easily overnight.

I prefer the Aarrow to deal with as it has a single door and the ashtray is easier to empty. Also the controls are simpler and it is easy to riddle and clean.

Both do the job and neither was cheap.

I changed the blade on my Palax Combi from over 100 teeth to about fifty something and yes it is more aggressive cutting through the Ash but quicker and easier as long as you hold the wood firmly.

You need to be especially careful when cutting small branches as it will snatch a length if not held tight and the sliver may jam the blade. However overall, now I am used to it I would not go back to a blade with more teeth, especially as it costs more to re-tip!

Last Berlin felling (Oct till Mar) season bought five chains ( for ms200t ) . Total cost 50 pounds . Not bad for five months .

I sharpened maybe twice . I hate sharpening chains.

 

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I agree. You can buy over a dozen new Stihl Picco chains for my little 170 for the same price as the sharpener!

here ya go Billhook.

These bloody things just prove that there are people out there who must have been released from some asylum and who need to be re-certified!

Thank God your clip was only three and a bit minutes and not ten hours

Could use this as a form of torture for those who don't pay or if I ever catch someone braking in I'll strap them to a chair and put this on repeat, they'll never reafend!

Could strap Brian May to a chair and hold his eyes open with matchsticks!

daughter loved it, watched the whole ten minutes.

However she is now lied under the Xmas tree foaming at the mouth mumbling badger badger badger

It's ten hours not just ten minutes Mattmoss!

Thermal Store v Neutralizer

We fitted a Dunsley some years ago which works in harmony with a gas boiler and an Aarrow Stratford boiler stove. Simple open vented system with few valves which has been trouble free.

The only slight hitch was when we replaced the gas boiler and the plumber initially refused to fit the new boiler because he claimed that Dunsleys were deemed to be too inefficient under some European ruling.

I never checked on this, perhaps it was more to do with the open vent part but he relented and fitted the new boiler in the end.

Buy Amaretti Virginia Marrons Glacés Online in the UK & Europe

My only vice at Christmas!

When you have agreed to tip a two ton load of logs on their driveway and on delivery before being paid, they say "You couldn't just stack it in the shed down there could you?"

Just found this site which confirms everything I had previously thought.

How accurate are the weather forecasts?

From the age of 15 up to the age of 50 I had a 24" waist a 6 pack 15" biceps and all the self look at me stuff that goes with it . Then at the age of 50 I was smashed to bits by a car . I am 62 now and have a 32"waist 12" biceps ( on one side only , nothing worth measuring on the other ) and skinny legs . . I want to be as active as my brain tells me but my physical condition wont allow it . What I describe to you is lame compared to people who were fit as a butchers dog but have suffered debilitating injury's serving their country . I did claim incapacity benefit for a time , I was in a wheel chair . Being how I was I wanted to get back to how I was before but that will never be . There are genuine cases out there . Not every one is a genuine case but some are . ......

I do not think anyone here is saying that there are not genuine cases. and those people should be given all the help possible. Many of them, including yourself, have a good attitude to life and do their best to overcome their problems and all the best to them for that.

.

I went to Skegness the other day which must be the mobility carriage centre of the universe. It is really quite dangerous to walk down the street window shopping as you are likely to be mown down by one. Many of them seem to be enormous girls who are still in their thirties.

I also spent a week cycling around Copenhagen recently. What a contrast! Firstly I am quite fit and cycle regularly and I was trying hard, but unsuccessfully, to chase the beautiful blondes with their hair streaming out behind, but I could barely keep up with the grannies on their bikes. There is only one speed which is full speed!

Not a mobility carriage in sight in the whole week and there was one old man who must have been in his nineties, riding a tricycle.

On the front was a special frame in which he carried his crutches!

Now that's what I call spirit!

Would Betel consider taking on someone whose is obese with a food addiction alongside those with drug and alchohol problems?

Been to the States?

 

I can tuck away a good helping but over there I'd share a main with the wife, obscene portion size!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2diPZOtty0

Could put an impotency drug in all junk foods and advertise it widely!

Very offensive and downright ill informed thread this. Yeah there are fat lazy people. There are others who got hit by a drunk driver breaking 16 bones in their body and after 6 years not exactly able to walk. Peg tube fed and metabolism trashed; now "fat" as you call them.

 

:thumbdown: to the lot of you judgemental rakes.

When I said that I would not be surprised if 90% of people claiming disability benefits were either making it up, self inflicted, or lacking in Headgroundsman's spirit, I thought I was being generous in leaving the other 10% to genuine and worthy folk.

Do not forget that it is these folk who suffer most from the other 90%, not only with the labelling but also the lack of funds and resources which should be sent in their direction and not to the unworthy.