Kent Arboreal

Right bicep twice the side of the left one

Left calf twice the size of the right one

Hernia that flares up once or twice a year when I forget to protect it by lifting with the legs and engaging the core first

Deaf as a post

Nerve pinch in my back that makes my right hand go numb if i do too much lifting and twisting

Hands so rough that I once put my hand on my wife’s knee and laddered her tights. Maybe that ones a superpower.

I love the pub always have but I won’t be returning for a while. Not worried about the virus, if anything I’m a bit of a sceptic of lockdown, but it looks like it’s gonna be rubbish. Why would I spend four quid a pint to sit away from everyone, served by a fella in a SARS mask, with no live music, having rung to book for the privilege, when for a quid a pint I could get a case from the co op and drink it in my own very nice garden where none of us are wearing masks without an inch of hazard tape in sight?! I get that pubs are struggling but I need a bit more incentive to visit than just “so they can have some money”

Conversation with a potential customer yesterday

How much to fell and remove this tree leaving 6ft of stump so I can train clematis up it

£400

That’s a lot more than I was hoping to pay, can you do any better?

No sorry, that’s competitive, it’s not good for business to work for less.

But you won’t have to take away 6ft of trunk, doesn’t that make a big difference?

No

Can you suggest anything else?

You can try calling a different firm

You’re the third company to quote for it, all three have said £400

Looks like that’s the going rate for this job then doesn’t it

Is there anything else you could suggest?

I’m chuckling now, “You could have a go yourself”

I wouldn’t know how and don’t have a chainsaw or anything

All that equipment and training is expensive eh? I have to go now, give me a call if you decide you’d like us to cut it down for you.

Well....not that I’m bored out of my mind but just had to share the amount of difference in the contents of a can of branstons compared to Heinz beans. Tomorrow I might even count them 
 
 

Very sensible minimum Ts & Cs. I’d recommend BACS as the only form of payment so your card machine doesn’t need handled by your customers.


I’m involved in home visits of a number of infected people, and even with the greatest care some of our health workers are catching this. What the media should be doing is filming a few people on their last few gasps to show how severe it can be. Were that to be shown few would be leaving their homes AT ALL!

Improvised home gym for me

Don’t do gardening or DIY jobs during coronavirus lockdown, docs warn

APPLE.NEWS

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THE SUN MOBILE APP
at this rate I won’t even bother getting out of bed!

I’ve already signed up for this in case the work is too dry. Good way of doing your bit, getting outside and still earning a crust I reckon

I’m struggling to follow what this thread is actually about. But I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s a load of old &@££@ks.

Yes but only alone and only jobs that are low risk of injury, fencing, hedges that sort of thing.

I don’t know for sure but I reckon the risk of mortality from cutting your arm off whilst hanging 40ft in the air from a rope would be a touch higher than from a case of the covid ...

Is integrating Instagram into the front page of your Website something you can do yourself?

I’ve got it integrated into the front page of the website too so the content on the site regularly changes as I post to instagram. Try and make it interesting to you as well as others and people will engage. You won’t get much direct through it but it’s great for getting noticed and remembered. Round our way all the local businesses follow each other on insta and help support one another by recommendations etc. It’s a bit like those business networking groups but without the stupid costs and early mornings spent with irritating David Brent type wankers.

Was out at 6.30 this morning Emergency Call Out Medium Ash Tree leaning towards power lines in Much Markle..been in bout half hour nothing seems normal even on the roads and the way you have to communicate with clients....I still can’t seem to adjust to what’s going on so just trying to be as normal as possible but it’s not till you get home you realise you can’t go out and put your Saturday football bet on or pop in to the pub or the footy isn’t on later...those fuckin Chinese have got a lot to answer for..they have taken at least a year out of my life and killed many peoples mums,dads,sisters,bothers, and lots of other family and friends..really angry about it the more I think of what’s happening.

I've not been diagnosed but i caught something like it around 11th Feb after a round trip to New Forest then Jonsie [stayed in a couple of travel taverns] - got ill - felt rough - headache/achy/ but no runny nose for 5 days - got better for 1 week - then sore throat and felt rough again for 2 weeks with nasty cough.After this 2 weeks left me with 10 days of not severe dry cough and shortness of breath and fatigue. I think this virus is already out there - will get a self test kit when they come out to confirm.

That paragraph proves you understand fuck all about cross contamination.

No argument there from me. [emoji23]

Interestingly enough this is my first pandemic.

After much thought im going to be keeping going. We’re now working like this:


use separate vans
Sanitise regularly
Keep away from one another where possible
Insist customers remain indoors or at least 3 meters from us.
Don’t accept tea etc from customers
Invoice and payment all done online

We’re happy to keep going as we see ourselves as pretty low risk being outside all the time and not requiring interaction with customers.

If you’re gonna catch it it’s gonna be at the supermarket. All the small businesses round here have started delivery services so we’re getting meat from the butchers veg from the greengrocers beer direct from the brewery in town (that’s an essential )

The only time I’ll have to interact with anyone outside the household is to fill up the trucks and petrol cans once a week.

Can’t do much more than that.

The problem is London, it’s not got nearly enough medical facilities to cope and the tube bus etc will keep spreading it. Plus they all bloody came down here for a day on the beach on Sunday and got us all grounded. Overcrowded city full of twats.

My husky is a right prima donna in hot weather. Could be fuel evaporation in the lines. Lived inAustralia for a long time in the Northern Territory and had an old van with the same problem. It was unusable between 11am and 3 pm. It was proper hot there though. 40 degrees c plus. I’m sure this answer is of no help to you. I had a few rums after discovering I can’t work for at least three weeks due to Oriental Bat Flu Lockdown.

Would that not make a mockery of the whole thing?

I've got jobs booked in and I'm going to work tomorrow. I'm self employed, don't need to mix with anyone apart from my subbie. 

Essential work... I’m assuming felling chestnut doesn’t count? Seriously though guys.... is it meant travel to work is ok if you can’t work from home....or is it essential work as in doctoring and the like...?

Fuck sake. Time to sharpen up.

I find I don't have a great deal of sympathy for the whining and moaning from Brits abroad caught up in this coronavirus travel disruption.
 
Nor do I particularly support their aspirations to be repatriated.
 
Iffum you've chosen to travel overseas at a time when the outbreak was known, then you are where you are by your own design.... 
 
I'll concede a very limited amount of sympathy for those that had travelled before the outbreak was notified but not so much as would translate to support for their movement back into the UK until they are certified clean.  
 
The lessons that should have been learnt from the transcontinental transmission of Spanish flu seem to have been completely overlooked.
 
Just stay at home and cut out all that European kissing malarky.     
 
 

Yup same problem. Makes me wonder why the fuck I ever left Australia