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Kent Arboreal

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About Kent Arboreal

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  • Birthday January 3

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  • Occupation
    Tree Surgeon
  • City
    Herne Bay

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508 profile views
  1. People are like that with houses next to pubs. I’ve always wanted to live next to a pub and now I’ve bought one next to 2 pubs moved in October and they still ain’t ****************ing reopened yet
  2. This ones turned out to be funnier than the jokes thread
  3. Get a Bluetooth card machine do a good job and take payment before you leave. Saves hours of chasing. If you get corporate contracts make sure you know their payment terms and make sure they stick to them. If they don’t, send a final invoice and get out. A £25k contract will just end up leaving you thousands out of pocket if they don’t pay. I have three corporate contracts that pay like clockwork. I’ve had others that never had any intention of paying. If you get caught by one of them you’ll be surprised how quickly they pay when you turn up at the head office and talk loudly about it in front of the suits.
  4. Maybe I missed something, but if you climbed him to take out the weight on one side, why didn’t you just dismantle him while you were up there?
  5. One from my daughter. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house. Knock knock Who’s there? The chicken
  6. A mate of mine is a jeweller in Hatton Garden. One day they set a boiled sweet into a gold ring and told the work experience lad to put the ring in the polishing machine but to be extra careful because it was a £30k emerald. Polishing machine basically sloshes it about in boiling water for half hour so when he came back there was no “emerald” just a gold ring. They let him stew all week before they told him.
  7. People will always have a go. My father in law told me the story of how he connected his consumer unit to the mains by wearing a pair of marigolds as insulation and telling the mother in law to stand behind him with a wooden broom to prise him off if he cocked up and started to cook himself. Priced a job a few years ago to remove a large limb from a willow, but they turned it down on account of the price. I know a guy who lives by that particular tree, apparently they had a few quotes but weren’t happy with the cost so the guy bought himself a plug in black and decker saw from b and q, climbed it on a ladder and sat on the limb and started cutting it about a foot from the trunk. The limb was about 20 foot long and give or take 24 inch diameter. He didn’t take any compression out the bottom, not that it would have made any difference given where he’d decided to start cutting. He got about halfway through then it split knocked his saw out of his hands broke in the middle then swing round on what was left of the fibres and knocked his ladder over. Then he hopped down, got the ladder and saw and cut the rest off from that. Bark was stripped all the way from where it snapped to the ground about a foot wide strip. Apparently he genuinely thought he’d done a good job of it too.
  8. I find flyers best. A bit labour intensive at first but once you get a few jobs from them then word of mouth takes over and you don’t need to drop so many. Been using flyers for years, my top tip is don’t write too much, assume they’re all going in the bin and write them in a way that can get your point across in the time it takes to walk from the doormat to the kitchen bin. Also drop the same areas regularly, then you stick in people’s minds. I see so many flyers that are just impenetrable or meaningless CS30 CS31... etc means nothing to a customer, Fully insured... they expect that... also don’t list every service, much better to write something like “Professional Tree Surgeon” than Limb removal, crown reduction, wind blown removal, pollarding, felling, hedge laying, hedge cutting, stump removal blah blah... if you just put “tree surgeon” they’ll assume the rest. And if you don’t do certain things, just say no when they call, you don’t need to list it all. Also one more, with SEO, don’t try and crowbar “tree surgeon Surrey” or whatever into every sentence, Google has come on a lot and now ranks for regularly updated relevant content, it spots drivel and penalises it. So many sites read like “Tree Surgeon in Surrey If you need a Tree Surgeon in Surrey then call Surrey Tree Surgery. We are tree surgeons based in Surrey and our Surrey tree surgeons provide a great Tree Surgery service. In Surrey.” Who the **************** is gonna call that?! That’s me done
  9. 2 strokes are all much the same to start, squish the bubble ten times, put the choke on, if it has an on/off switch make sure it’s on (amazing how many people don’t!) pull the cord until it turns over, when it does take the choke off and pull it until it starts. Make sure the brake is on when you start it. Make sure the chain is sharp and tight enough. Don’t touch anything with the tip, that’s where you’ll get kickback from. Don’t take try to change the chain with the brake on you’ll turn an easy two minute job into a complicated two hour one. If you’re not sure why that is, don’t worry, you’ll find out sooner or later! Make sure there’s always oil in the hopper otherwise you’ll overheat the chain and **************** it. I find I go through one tank of oil to every two tanks of petrol with my husky 550 XP which is a similar size saw I think although I’m not familiar with mcculloch saws, but different saws are different. Obviously. Put 50:1 2 stroke mix in it, most bottles of 2 stroke oil have some way of measuring out the right amount to add. Rule of thumb better to mix it too rich than too lean up to a point, after that you’ll foul the plug, but even then better a dirty plug than a seized engine. Try not to let the fuel run dry, it’s a pig to start again if you do. If you’re going get paid to use it at least do your CS30, most of that is learning about how the saw and chain works and when you understand how it works it means you’ll be a bit more clued in what to do when something goes wrong, how to maintain it, troubleshooting etc etc
  10. Your site, your problem. Just my opinion but that’s how I do things. Usually my problem is the subs breaking my tools though. Had a claim on insurance a few years ago, I had another company that did cleaning, had a new girl start as a sub looking to get full time if it worked out, recommended by her boyfriend who was a guy we had a big contract with. First day she spilled heavy duty oven cleaner on a solid oak worktop and completely wrecked it. A couple of grand to replace. The guy offered to pay it but I took it on the chin and claimed for it as I felt it was my responsibility not his. (Or hers) she wasn’t doing anything wrong, accidents sometimes happen. Just bad luck it was day one.
  11. We get it in the ear from joe public all the time. Not so much the saws but the chipper. I used to worry, now I’m more of the opinion of wtf else do you want me to do with it? Six trailer loads instead of one? Turn up with 40 beavers and let em eat it? Piss off!
  12. This did cross my mind. On the council estate where I grew up there was a family evicted from their council house after they discovered they were keeping a horse in their living room. Guess they didn’t fancy the stable fees either. Nice area Swanley. Dunno why I moved away.
  13. It happened at Hatchet Pond which is likely the one you mean on the road between Lymington and Beaulieu. I’d wager it’s the same horse. Perhaps that one needs an indoor life now. That’s twice in a week. It was just next to the car park there where there are picnic benches. It probably hangs around there scavenging


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