grim72

Wow, that's a biggun

BBC News - Leylandii: Why are they still so popular?

Or what do you call a fat laptop?

A dell

My house was invaded with cornfly this weekend after the first harvest. irritating little bleeders get everywhere and you can feel them even when they're not there. Grrrr.

I've heard of scarves being draped or tied to gates as if they had been dropped by a walker and another walker had kindly picked it up and hung it so it would be easily found by the owner, but in actual fact it's a signal that there is livestock worth stealing in this field.

I'm off to tie some scarfs around the crocodile enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo

Wailing cats get my blood boiling, thankfully dont seem to get them up herebut used to drive me mad - must have lost half a dozen shoes/slippers/mugs chucking things out the window at them when I used to live in Huddersfield.

Also reminds me of the time as a student when some cretin decided to start turning up on our road at about 2am to see his druggy friends across the way from us and stick his cars music up as far as it would go whilst shouting across the way to his mates from his car. I managed to put up with it for two nights before I totally lost my rag. We didn't live in the best of student accomodation and we used to have an old sledge hammer at the bottom of the stairs which as used as a door stop and 'just in case' burglar deterrant.

Much to my girlfriend's dismay and protest I deceided enough was enough. I put my slippers and dressing gown on and stomped down the stairs, threw the sledge hammer over my shoulder, walked up to the car and bent down to speak to the driver. I told him what I thought of his new routine of keeping me awake and gave him two options. He could turn his music off, turn his car around and drive away with an acceptance that he would not do the same again. Or, I could stop him from doing it again by swinging the sledge hammer through his windscreen and continue the swing so that it continued into his ugly face, at which point I would turn the music down for him.

He chose the first option and I never heard him again. Oh the life of a student, them were the days.

That's one of best I've seen, if that's really your first go then I think you are a natural.

Look good, not sure about the soft focus photography though - looks like something from an 80s porn movie:thumbup1:

That is crazy, how on earth does that work then? Put's the theory of gravity to the test!

An article on the BBC News website

BBC News - Wiltshire's football-pitch-sized plane tree sets record

I don't think the picture matches up very well mind.

Did my one and only skydive over Lake Taupo, amazing scenery - couldnt think of a better place to do it. Would love to do another.

Looks great, I got married in the treehouse at Alnwick Gardens - well worth a visit for anyone not been there. A great day out for the kids and amazing gardens. The Alnwick Garden

I guess the title says it all really but you can read the details at the link below

Sunderland gardener killed himself by eating tree - Local - Sunderland Echo

In my student days, my best mate was my guardian angel, always managing to drag me home rather than leave my lying in a ditch somewhere, the guy was a saint and still my best mate 15 years later. One night, I was somehow slightly more sober than him and so I returned the favour, half carried, half staggered back home. Managed to stumble up the stairs (maybe one or two bumps and bruises into the bargain) and thought I'd be extra nice and put his heater on for him to keep him warm. Next morning he woke up with the biggest heat blister I've ever seen covering his entire leg where I had dumped him slap bang in front of the electric fire. Needless to say I try to avoid being helpful these days.He still thinks he must have fallen asleep there himself - I'm sure he doesnt need to know I dumped him there - still its the thought that counts isnt it?

Monkey, think you buy from the most expensive supplier out there - they are extortionate in everything they sell (quality is decent thought). You can order direct from Skipper - Skipper?* | Puchase or they have a list of distributors of you want to check them out to see if there are any bargains. Aspli have a good price (couldnt be bothered searching the others - http://www.aspli.com/products/1383/skipper-barrier-tape-fittingr

Recent updates:

http://www.chilternvoice.co.uk/2011/05/04/new-outbreaks-of-oak-processionary-moth-opm-not-too-far-away/

New outbreaks of Oak Processionary Moth confirmed | Amateur Gardening

Oak Processionary Moth - Health Risks - Gristwood & Toms - 08458 731500

An interesting news article on the BBC site

BBC News - Ermine moth larvae infest Bradford park

I love getting my hands into some sperm

Saw this on the BBC news site and thought it might be of interest to some:

BBC - Earth News - Unique inventory of traditional orchards from above

Just saw this on the BBC news channel and reminded me of this thread

BBC News - Flash flood deluges Middlewood Road in Sheffield

Nah, that would involve me having to watch the thing. I'd rather get drunk without the pain of sittin through it all.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kav0FEhtLug&feature=player_embedded]YouTube - The T-Mobile Royal Wedding[/ame]

Lovely, I feel fully educated and ready to go now - proof if ever it was needed of the power of a good forum with knowledgeable and helpful members. Thanks to everyone for their help and advice.

Just out of interest if I decided not to plant a fruit tree, what would anyone else suggest? It is the only tree in the lawn area of the garden and was a nice little feature (especially in blossom) - what would you good people do with the soon to be vacant space?

An idea of the garden layout below (fallen tree in background), would a fruit tree be out of place do you think? I guess I could just turn it into a flower bed or something instead.

I feel like the school thicko here. If they use a stump grinder will that remove the roots as well? Might call around, see if there is anyone local we can call a favour in from. Maybe I could just swing the scroat that did it and whack the stump into the ground with his head?

Some great advice, thanks. Being the lazy/knackered/busy bloke (take your pick) that I am, if I did ask a 'pro' to come in to grub out and plant a replacement tree what kind of price would I expect to pay for a job like this (assuming I supplied the tree)? I'm based up in Fife if anyone fancies it by the way

I was thinking of maybe an apple or plum tree of some description, has to be something that doesnt grow too big though and is relatively low maintenance. But yes, suggestions are welcome - nothing too pricey though. Thanks for the help guys. Bearing in mind I have never removed a tree, what do I need to do? Do I just take a saw to it and then a spade to dig out the roots as best as I can - not sure if this is 'grubbing out'? Ignorance is bliss eh?