Maths, funny but True?

[Bald Ed]

Just received this from a mate in Oz, a bit long but worth a read. sorry if its already been posted.

:lol:

 

Maths Teaching 1970 to date

 

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

 

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 80% of the price.

What is his profit?

 

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80.

How much was his profit?

 

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

 

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and

inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the

preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how might the birds and squirrels feel as the

logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

 

 

6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be

offensive to Christians, Hindus, Jews, Muslims or other religious groups not

consulted when granting a felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his

chainsaw is

in breach of Health & Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and

could cut something.

He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does

not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered

to be a recividest and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his

details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is

taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Travellers have cut down half his wood

to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested,

prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a

further £100. While he is in jail the Travellers cut down the rest of his

wood and

sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ

of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tons of rubbish

and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to

clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He

complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace

and invoiced £12000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated

government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be

arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20

profit by

hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest

of his life?

 

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan

to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a

derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama

and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million

pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the

biggest losses.

 

The logger struggles to pay the £1200 road tax on his old lorry however,

and as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations

and he is forced to scrap it.

 

Some East European loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it

back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send

their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their

relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport

them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they

return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The

logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is

on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1500 registration fees as a

gang

master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's

are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the

difference on expenses and allowances.

 

You do the maths.

[Yve_Clark]

Good one and a fairly accurate representation of the madness we live amongst. Here's another in a similar vein.......

 

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario :

Jack goes rabbit shooting before school, pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

2007 - School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers. 



 

Scenario:

Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.





 

Scenario:

Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Robbie has a disability.





 

Scenario :

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. 
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. 
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.





 

Scenario :

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.Car searched for drugs and weapons. 



 

Scenario :

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. 



 

Scenario :

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2007- Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.



 

Scenario :

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.