Stereo

Herbal tea is good. No milk so it's too hot to drink for ages. Means I've got a drink on the go rather than downing something. Some pretty tasty ones out there too. Going looking at a few jobs tomorrow. Feel alive and hopeful again. Thanks for all the advice /support.

My house is legally a holiday let so I can rent it out when I like. Only my family are allowed to live in it full time due a planning clause. So we are thinking of fixing it up nice (it's nice already but a bit rough) and letting it out for the summer hols while we go and live in a yurt / tipi / tent / caravan or whatever. We've got a barn with running water and a loo so a shower should be no issue. Should bring in a few grand and the kids will love it while they are young......

Thanks. Slept like a baby last night (edit: a baby that sleeps well) and no more sweats or anything. Feeling good. No cravings, nothing. Pretty much the same as when I gave up smoking. Suddenly had no desire to do it any more.

Good idea, I've got a mate who is into that but he's moved away now. Will see if he's got any connections down here. Cheers.

Hefted 14 20kilo feed bags up the field this afternoon (one by 1) and ran it. After I had nearly died, it did feel good I must admit. Been advised on other places not to go cold turkey after giving it large for a long time or I may start burbling and then drop dead. I don't like the idea of cutting down though. Would be too easy to have a swig. Would rather just bin it and be a different person.

Is it gradually spreading then? Got a beauty in my garden that I've been nurturing for 14 years or so since I found it as a sapling in the hedge. Would hate it to have to go. I guess it's inevitable. I notice RPA do not pay for ash to be planted in the new woodland creation scheme either.

Hi Richard, I feel kind of OK this morning. Had an awful night though. No cravings, just sweating, hot and cold, muscles aching and a stinking headache. Got to sleep about 3 I think. I suppose you have to expect some kind of physical effect from just stopping suddenly.

Cheers, more good food for thought. Off to bed without a drink all evening aside from herb tea. Sounds silly but quite a big thing for me. Feels a little odd but no shakes or massive cravings or anything. Probably have my first hangover in 20 years tomorrow.

Haven't got around to growing food yet but it's in the pipeline. We tend to hatch all our own birds. I did get some organic ex layers a few years back and they were hopeless. Soft shells, mad as loons and ate most eggs they did lay. We spent a fortune on supplements and anything to try and get the shells right but they were all laid out. Have thought about ducks but not got around to that either.... Meanwhile, first evening in probably years without a glass of wine. So far so good.

Yeah, we do that. Keep them to organic standards in terms of space but not totally free range as a lot of foxes around here. I use electric nets and move them about. Most of mine are pure breeds so laying has tailed off now but I do have a nice Rhode Red cockerel and some Sussex hens so I'm planning on hatching some of our own 'ginger rangers' next year for a more consistent supply.

That's exactly what we are aiming at. There is mains water on site but nothing else. Each 'pitch' will have about an acre of their own and there will be animals in paddocks for the kids to see.

Thanks fellas. I'm going to pull the plug and get on with life. I've got 2 half bottles of wine in the house and I've been looking at them, wondering whether to pour them away, leave them there as a test or down them. The first is probably the most sensible. The second would be too hard and the third is the most stupid, so I'm doing that. All I have to do now is simply not buy any and there won't be any. I haven't got the cash anyway, it's stupid. I can do this. Lot's of ice water and cups of tea I think. Holy crap!

Thanks Richard. I'm building up to a booze free October, scary as that may be (to me at least). Might be a good exercise in self control. See if I can do it and if I can't, I have a problem that needs proper help and I need to open up to my closest folk (also scary). Good idea? Did you just pull the plug on it? I did that with smoking and never looked back. Problem is that drink is everywhere.

Yeah, been looking at driving jobs as that's what I'm good at. Plus, if I had to drive early, I would need to keep off the vino the night before. Problem is at the moment I'm just here on the farm rolling about and doing pretty much bugger all with no deadlines and nowhere to go. Waste of life.

Land is let until end of the year. We are looking at all sorts of camping / glamping next year though. 28 day campsite etc. Have a lovely field for 50 tents and can hire in facilities. Not bad money at all for a month of aggro.

Be dead within a week.

Had a guy somewhere around Torquay offer me some for £25 if that's any good? He was a bit vague on qty and said he could fix me up with whatever I needed! Not sure what that means. I need some later in the year but can put you in touch if you like. Said it was some kind of food concentrate originally. He sounded legit.......

You are quite right Joe. I don't think I'm addicted. I can go for days if it's just not there and not think about it for a second. No side effects or cravings at all. But if it's there I tend to have a go. Have to get my head around that one and somehow stop. I've been up and down with it all my life. None for years and then a load and then none again. I probably just need to cut it all together. I know my missus worries about how much I put away and that is not good even if she doesn't say much other than the odd comment. Crap. Sounding like a drunk to any sane person reading this. Maybe that is the first thing to attend to. It obviously totally is. Some great ideas here. Thanks. We don't have many barns and the land is already let to sheep grazing but that just about covers keeping up with the fencing, insurance, hedge trimming etc. But it is a really nice site and camping / glamping seems obvious to me. Short term, I have woods and trees so logs would bring in some cash. Skills wise I grew up on the farm so have a basic handle on tractor driving etc. but not up with new kit. Probably happier in a transit than a tractor. Carpenter1, Totnes way, not far from you I don't think.

Thanks fellas. You are right, there are opportunities everywhere. I need to cut out the booze, get some early nights and start to be alive again. We already do satanic sacrifices so that's something. Farm is stunning and we are looking at Glamping but although I get excited when we talk about it, it all seems so far away. I just need to stop being a dick, get out of bed and go for it.

Yeah, I am a bit down. Massively P'd off at myself as I'm sort of wasting my life away when I've really got it all but I can't seem to change. It seems everything I want to do is just beyond my fingertips but I know others would just make it happen. I used to be like that too. Need to snap out of it. I'm in South Devon.

In a bit of a pickle at the mo cash wise. Ridiculous situation really as I own a 50 acre farm with house and a small mortgage. So, I'm very lucky. Screwed my credit file 5 years ago trying to save my company so everything is a 'NO'. Can't even get a phone contract or seem to raise money against the farm. Wife changed jobs so didn't get paid in Aug and is now on a lower wage. I am building a business on the farm which is very much seasonal and it's slowing dramatically now Autumn is nearly upon us (expected this). A couple weeks ago we headed off to our only holiday of the year (a weekend of camping!) and our car blew it's turbo on the M5. Result, expensive recovery which we had to pay up front and looking like a £600 bill to fix which probably means I'll have to sell the car to pay it. Plus, no holiday. Bah. Anyway, crux of it is, ideas to make some cash. Don't need a lot. £100 a week would help until we get to next spring. Can't really look at too many jobs as I need to be here for the kids getting home and see them off in the morning. I was wondering about doing a few logs over the winter to tide me over. Got a saw etc. What I wouldn't want to do is undercut the market and then clear off. I also don't have any seasoned stuff down but have been looking at ideas for building a kiln (oil drum over a fire) as I need to dry my own logs anyway. I do have a 5 acre wood, various copses etc. Also a few big trees already on the deck. I am used to hard work but lately seem to mope around a lot feeling sorry for myself, which is pathetic. I'm kind of getting sick of myself and it makes me grumpy with the kids. I've got a million blessings to count but can't seem to get off my arse. So, from standing trees to selling logs in mid Oct. Any good?

If they eat wasps, they are good by me. Funnily enough, there have been very few wasps about this year.

In fact, when I think about it, I grew up in a cob farmhouse and the barn was pickled with bumble bee nests and we always thought that was amazing. We lived with them and they lived with us and although the place was humming with them, nobody ever got stung. So I guess we need to see our hornet friends in the same way.

Thanks all. We've kept the boy's windows shut upstairs for the last while as they find their way in. It's quite amazing to stand at the big glass door and watch them trying to get in, right up close. Probably cruel in some way I guess. But to get inches from one is fascinating. They do fly in and out and over our heads in the yard and have not hurt us yet. So I think I will leave them this year and hope they don't come back. They are quite stunning creatures and seem to not be aggressive at all. Dad says it would be easy to kill them with this or that but why is that our default position? Just kill it. Truce so far. Hope they keep it that way.

I live in an old barn conversion and we had to put in 'bat pipes' when we did it. So there is a small entrance to a small enclosed loft space that is not accessible form in or out of the house. Last year we had hornets in one end and I took the decision to deal with them and block the hole. Not sure if that was right or wrong. This year they are at the other end of the house and because of the build, I can't get at the hole to block it. I've got 3 young kids and next door have kids and we have pets. I've kept the upstairs windows closed and tonight I counted at least 30 hornets on the big window at the end of the house trying to get in to the light. Now, I'm not anti hornet. At the moment we live and let live. They are above our main yard and they come and go as do we. I am happy to let this go into the winter as they haven't hurt us yet. It's a bit scary but I'm keeping the faith that they are not bothered about us. Especially with kids playing in the yard. What I would like to know is the science behind it. Assuming they have nested in my tiny loft space, is that a permanent home? Will they just leave for the winter? If I block up that hole this winter will I harm the nest? Should I welcome them to my home? They don't worry me personally but I've got kids and pets and they are big buzzy buggers. Any comments welcome.