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About FatherJack

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    Senior Member, Raffle Sponsor 2015

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  • Location:
    West Sussex
  1. Hmmh. In the offshore industry, chains are never used for lifting and rigging purposes. And for good reason....difficult to inspect properly without use of specialist non destructive testing techniques. Webbing and round slings are used a lot. But competent inspection is essential. For large loads wire slings are used. But am I an expert................
  2. Finally someone that I can understand...............
  3. Is it a business issue or is it personal? If the former, then it's part of the ups and downs of playing the game of business. So treat it as such, and don't stress about it.
  4. If your home insurance excludes business cover and they think that you are claiming for business equipment, then I can understand why they are being a bit cautious about paying out. The majority of home owners don't want business cover, and they don't want to pay for those that do. I sympathise, but.........................
  5. BABS Barbara was lying in bed one night. Fred was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck.." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Barb asked.. "To get my teeth!" DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTRE 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough." OLD FRIENDS Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" SUPERSEX A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
  6. When you're over 60.................... I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, when you’re over sixty................who cares? ********** Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....." When you’re over sixty................who cares? *********** I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip, but...When you’re over sixty................who cares? *********** I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares? *********** I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. Cost me a bloody nose, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares? *********** I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re over sixty................who cares? *****************
  7. Understood. My postings are by way of example. No offence meant.
  8. For one.............if the seller ignores your request for details of the serials numbers etc.........................then seek elsewhere.
  9. Surely it's good practice to ask for a picture of and check the serial numbers prior to buying second hand. IMHO, we need to all that we can to kill off the market (yes, those of you who are happy to turn a blind eye provided the price is "right") for the tea leaves passing on their ill gotten wares.
  10. More doom and gloom being reported on the BBC: Ash tree set for extinction in Europe - BBC News
  11. Sorry, but those chaps are long time thieves. Thief = scum. Society does not need or want them. And, if I had my way..............................
  12. If a day's work is cancelled due to weather etc., do you pay your employees? That is PAYE employees, and not subbies, and they are told not to come into work. Just want to get a feeling for the business practices out there. Cheers
  13. To the OP re tree toppled without consent. There's rights and wrongs, principles etc etc. But please, please, please remember the health of you and yours. Taking on a case to put right a wrong may or may not be successful, can cost a lot, and can be extremely stressful. So stand back and take a good hard look at the situation before jumping in. Will what you get in return be worth it? Only you can decide.
  14. Being one of those associated with the offshore oil and gas industry, I can confirm that the industry is well and truly knackered worldwide. During previous downturns one could always find work somewhere in the world, but now - no chance I feel for the younger folks with big mortgages etc and having to change carreers. Be interesting to see if RATS (Rope Access Technicians) start looking for work in this industry.....................
  15. Hence the point that we already have it offshore in UK waters.............so we are already contaminated 'onshore'..................


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