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John, you're a diamond mate- keep your chin up, and there's a load of us rooting for ya out here.:001_smile:

 

 

Agreed.

 

No matter what has passed John, you're still a great dad to Josh & Alice.

 

Keep on relishing the contact you do have & make every moment count.

 

All the best mate.

 

David

 

 

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John, that's a tough one... I do feel for you.

Growing up after my parents split up, after my father strayed, and going into my teens.. my old chap only ever saw us at weekends and occasionaly over school hollidays... let me tell you it's not great for the kids either.

I'm just getting my head around becoming a dad in a few months time... sound advice.

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I'm just getting my head around becoming a dad in a few months time... sound advice.

 

 

...and the best of luck to you.

It is just possible isn't it that this thread could save a marriage in the future. Too late for some sadly but how cool would it be if Arbtalk actually did that?

Wow.

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keep your chin up john, as i said earlier, what is done is done. you need to stop beating yourself up for your kids sake and yourself. live in the now, not the past or the future. how many times have you worried about things that you think might happen or did happen. anxiety is a horrible thing, i suffered from it all my life. what if, what if!!going for advice or therapy doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you know you are alive and you want to keep on living the best that you can. when wee stew wasnt well in february this year, i thought i was going to loose him, seeing him lying on a bed with tubes up his nose and lying there helpless and pale was something you couldnt prepare for, i was in bits at the side of his bed. but with the help that i had recieved from my hypnotherapist previously i managed to pull myself together and keep a straight head, after a few hankies though. i cant explain what it is like, but being in control of your thoughts is amazing, keeping the cruel images out of your minds eye, remaining positive, breathing properly and only thinking good thoughts, not eating away at yourself with worry and what ifs. we were lucky and he bounced back once he was in the right hands.keep strong john and get googling about hypno. please.

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Keep you head up John, been in the same sort of situation myself, I know you think it won't get any better but it will, I'm now on my second marriage and my boy now lives with us. And I am happier than I ever thought I would be.

Keep your chin up and live for the future not the past, as it will eat in to you as it did me.

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The ammount of posts to this thread tells me that I am not alone. I could probably write a book on the effects of anxiety and OCD. It got so bad that I kept thinking I'd run someone over or caused an accident, even though, deep down I know I had'nt. Even got round to ringing the old bill just to check. People with OCD are probably some of the most trustworthy people around. I alwys clear up a site with great care in case I leave a 'accident waiting to happen' Things like this can play on my mind for ages.

 

I also took pills to reduce OCD. They work for me. However, I still wake up with clenched muscles, get twitches, sweat a lot. All physical signs of stress. It started long before I was involved with trees. However, I find that the busier I am the less I worry. Too much thinking time is bad for me.

 

Also, like everyone else I appreciate my family more than anything elso. Everyone out there keep you chins up. Life's great even with a few worries

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