Funny things customers say ?

[Perkins]

Whilst discussing pruning works to some fully mature Sycamores and Limes....

 

"do we need to make the conservation application given that these trees are just self-seeders?"

 

er....yes!

[Gray git]

Why do I need council permission to cut this pine (blue cedre) down its not like its something old like a birch.

Or yesterdays will it be cheeper if you just cut it all up into bits for my fire and stack it around the back insted of taking it away?

 

Best 1 I have had from another tree man was when looking at my quadchip he comented on how timberwolf's are so much better as you dont have to step over the drawbar to feed it and have the chip flying over you head while feeding it..... It was still in transport position, didnt look like he was joking.

[Rich2484]

Not from a customer but an old gut walking past.

 

I was just getting ready to chip a huge pile of brash when this old guy from across the road shouted.

"You must be a big company"

"Why's that" I replied. (Can anyone guess what his reply was?)

 

 

 

"Coz you've got branches everywhere!"

[White Noise]

Not from a customer but an old gut walking past.

 

I was just getting ready to chip a huge pile of brash when this old guy from across the road shouted.

"You must be a big company"

"Why's that" I replied. (Can anyone guess what his reply was?)

 

 

 

"Coz you've got branches everywhere!"

 

Lol never heard that one . I've heard a special branch joke before

[pward]

Best one was after dropping 14 tree to the ground the customer said it wasn't a part of the deal to have them on his lawn, the only other place was his house or the neighbours, some people just don't think

[Gnarlyoak]

After leaving our tractor and pto chipper parked on a pig farm overnight we were somewhat dismayed in the morning to have the farmer tell us how well our chipper had chipped up his 3 dead pigs

 

Are you sure it was three dead pigs and not his wife or the unwitting victim of a gangland murder?

[mad matty]

have a t-shirt that state,s "could you just starts at £15" got it made due to people alwalys wanting a freebie, like a guy who wanted us to reduce a 40ft beech for nothing because we were trimming his hedge!!!. His quip when i said no was thats no way to run a business.

[Shane]

While taming down a poorly holm oak leaning over a road in Ferring, all day long the local 'retired/nothing to do but moan/busybodies' kept asking if we had permission to do this.

 

Eventually I got fed up and when one old guy asked the same question I replied

'Actually no we havent, but we had a spare day so thought it would be a laugh. If I give you £10 will you promise not to tell anyone'

His face was priceless - I did apologise after a few seconds for being facetious - he did then see the funny side.

 

Its a fact that ivy and weeds ALWAYS grow over from next door. I've NEVER had a customer admit it starts in their garden.

Edited September 30, 2012 by Shane

[Gareth Dalzell]

"it must be lovely working outside in the sunshine everyday" directed at us on one of two sunny days we had this summer.

[aob9]

I dare say that most hedge men have at one time or another had the offer of a spirit level proffered by the householder.

 

 

Just came across this thread.

 

I've had a customer put a spirit level against his kitchen window to check the line on a hedge before he wrote the cheque.