Jokes???

[Stevie Mac]

Whats the difference between a women and fridge?

 

A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

[Dave Martin]

NHS VIEWS on NEW PROPOSALS

 

The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it.

The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in London .

[Tommy_B]

Biggest joke I've heard recently is that Andy Carrol is worth £35 Million....

[Mark Bolam]

Kerchinnnnng!

[Tommy_B]

Too right mate!! By my reckoning, I'm now worth about £12 million in today's current market!!

[PeteB]

Just bought the ex-wife a solar powered vibrator. Seeing as the sun shines out of her arse - it should save her a fortune in batteries!

[Tommy_B]

Just bought the ex-wife a solar powered vibrator. Seeing as the sun shines out of her arse - it should save her a fortune in batteries!

 

Ha ha ha!!!

 

I got the Mother in Law a Dildo and a pair of slippers. If she doesn't like the Slippers she can go and **** herself!!!

[PeteB]

Sweet!

[PeteB]

A thick mate is baffled by his orange penis. The doctor asks "does anyone in your family have this condition?" Mick replies "No, not at all". "Do you handle chemicals at work?", "I don't work" Mick replies. "Well what do you do all day?" the doc asks. "Watch porn and eat Wotsits!" says Mick.......

[oldwoodcutter]

A local dyke dweller hereabouts went up in front of magistrates for shooting a golden eagle.He pleaded that his wife and kids were starving,that he wouldn't normally dream of shooting eagles but he couldn't bear to see his little children go hungry.

The bench took pity on him and let him off in the circumstances.On the way out in the foyer he bumped into the old magistrate who asked him how the bird tasted,after a few moments of hard thinking he replied "completely different from swan"