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Worst harness I have ever worn

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I’m not sure if it’s me and the fact I’m a skinny bugger but the simarghu male harness is the worse peace of equipment I have ever bought in the 15 years of doing tree work.


I recently had the yard broken into and was cleaned out. Crap I know but I thought well let’s as least get a decent harness with a good back support since I was going through the insurance. So I read a couple of reviews for the Simarghu harness and thought that looks like a good one to go for.


Never have I been so wrong in my life, I would have been better growing the money down the drain. This harness has crushed my balls countless times, if I can have any more kids I’ll be amazed. It forces its way into my arse crack and I sprang the whole time climbing picking wagies out of me. Honestly the person who designed this harness must have Hatton men. The tool loops are in completely the wrong place and it is uncomfortable getting to my saw or silky every time I go to grab it. The D-rings are a flaming nightmare to clip into especially when your trying to do it one handed. Mind you I find myself climbing on my side stripe more than my rope in it as it’s more comfortable being on spikes then sat back in this torture device.

The whole thing makes climbing really quite dangerous and I have shouted at the guys more times in the last few weeks than I ever have before and that’s because I have been in a constant state of uncomfort and distress whilst climbing.


I have never written a bad review on anything but I felt I had to say something on this one as it really is the worse thing that has ever been made in my opinion.


But this is my opinion and I’d like to know how everyone else has got on with these nut crushers?


Also if anyone is looking to buy a harness I have a lovely one going for cheep

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Not being funny but are you wearing it correctly? A lot of these newer harnesses are designed to be worn a lot lower down than traditional harnesses. I’m not 100% sure but I think this one also falls into that category. Common mistake with the tree motion harness for example where people are wearing it high up and it defeats the whole purpose of the design. 

what was your previous harness?

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Experiment setting the harness up like below. I'm basing this largely on how a treemotion would perform best. I believe it might solve most of your problems. Won't help with the tool clips or the side d's but i'd imagine you'll get the hang of the d's with muscle memory in a relatively short time. Can probably stick some petzl caritools onto the webbing in just the place you want for your tools?


Screenshot 2021-06-11 at 16.26.34.png

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3 minutes ago, Dan Maynard said:

I'm needing a new harness in September, probably cross this one off the list then.

Need to try them out really, job at the APF

I thought the APF was cancelled this year?

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I thought the APF was cancelled this year?
It probably is, I've lost track to be honest.

It's just that I bought my current harness at the APF so trying them on at the show is the thing to do.

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